My child isn’t my easel to paint on. Nor my diamond to polish.
My child isn’t my trophy to share with the world. Nor my badge of honor.
My child isn’t an idea, an expectation, or a fantasy. Nor my reflection
My child isn’t my puppet or a project. Nor my striving or desire.
My child is here to fumble, stumble, try, and cry. Learn and mess up.
Fail and try again. Listen to the beat of a drum faint to our adult ears.
And dance to a song that revels in freedom. My task is to step aside.
Stay in infinite possibility. Heal my own wounds. Fill my own bucket.
And let my child fly.
– Dr. Shefali Tsabary
I talk a lot about Mother Guilt in my work with women who are mothers.. in our society, it has become an epidemic- women beating themselves up for not being the mother they think they should be to their kids.
It goes SO MUCH DEEPER than this..
What is your guilt really telling you? What is the real message in the way you got angry at them just now?
Mother or not, we are all 100% accountable for our own lives.
We have layers upon layers upon layers of conditioning from our own in-utero experience and childhood experience that plays out in patterns and dysfunctional behaviour without us realising it. Until you do.
Go into the corners where you don’t want to look. Those parts of yourself that make you fidget, sweat, heat up, shutdown, numb out, go blank.
Going open-hearted and getting dirty into these places are the real keys to acceptance of who you really are in all it’s beautiful light and shadow.
Do the WORK. It’s not selfish or indulgent, it’s actually LIFE-GIVING to your children.
Be the one in your family line that disrupts, the change maker.. create a NEW paradigm for future generations to step into the light.