The fear of the unknown can be one of the most destabilising fears of all.. why? Because you just don’t know what will happen next..
So how do we handle this fear? Two things: Courage and Understanding.. of exactly what lies beneath the fear in the first place.. These steps should get you diving deeper into it and bring you a few steps closer to the guts of it..
Close your eyes, and OPEN YOUR HEART… breathe.. and then open it even more..
Connect with your sense of Courage.. by doing this, you are boosting your self-esteem, and fear does NOT like this, and will back right away.. In his incredible book, Letting Go – The Pathway to Surrender, David R. Hawkins writes:
” It is often easy to jump from any of the lower feelings up to courage merely by affirming our courage to look at and handle our feelings. The mere willingness to look at and begin to handle them increases our self-esteem. If, for instance, we have a fear and are unwilling to look at it, then we feel diminished and our self-esteem is lowered. If we are willing to loom at the fear, examine it, acknowledge its presence, see how it has inhabited our life, and begin to surrender it, then our self-esteem increases, whether the fear disappears or not.”
Ask yourself these questions:
- why do I have this fear?
- is it not being able to control things?
- what is the biggest fear I have of not knowing what the unknown is.. that things will fall apart? That I will be let down? That you will fail?
Remember to keep on opening your heart and keeping it open through these questions…
Once we have established what the fear is (and you will know as it will be uncomfortable to admit to yourself) we then dig a little deeper to ask ourselves where that may have come from.
As an example, someone might feel the need to plan everything out to the minute detail with all situations, and really crave predictability, only to then completely freak out when the plan goes out the window.. This could be that they had no structure as a child growing up, and so they have gone to the other extreme and created all these scaffolds of planning around them to protect them from that feeling of chaos they may have felt in their childhood..
Really drill down deep into this.. it can help to talk this out with a trusted coach or a therapist as you might not see the link until an objective eye spots it..
And always remember to open your heart and keep it open..
Once you have found the root of this fear, the charge lessens and you are more likely to be able to relax into letting things go.. While before, you may have tightened into the fear, or run away from it, with this new understanding of where it comes from, you will be able to acknowledge when it comes up, watch your body respond to it, know where it comes from, and let it pass again..
The thing is, we are not aiming to stamp out or stop a fear from coming up. We are simply growing our understanding of these fears we all have, knowing that they are just as much a part of us as the stuff we like, and then use them as information to understand and love ourselves in a much more whole, and non-conditional way.. And learning how to do this is the greatest gift we can give ourselves..